An introduction/ Asking for advice

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by Tidus, Mar 12, 2017.

  1. Tidus

    Tidus New Member

    Hey guys,
    I am 18, male and a college student who finally is doing the right thing and getting my life together. I'm an aspiring rapper, and soon to be model. hope to put out songs sometime this year and I'm aiming for the summer. Writing and rapping is something I've been passionately telling myself I want to do since I was 13 but life always got in the way though means such as depression and the other half of the time I was being lazy/ PMOing my life away
    At this stage in my life, I am doing better in school then ever before and aiming for top grades and I sit down to write everyday now even if it's only a few sentences at a time.

    I have a girlfriend of 2 and a half years however I feel ,now that I am finally pulling myself up by my bootstraps and such, that I'm drifting away from her and things don't feel the same anymore to the point where I've contemplated seriously breaking up with her for a girl I know likes me and shares many things in common with each other but I at least want to see how things go first as I don't want to just throw away almost 3 years.

    The biggest problem is PMO. I'm here now because I tried to defeat it on my own for around 6 months and have found no success. After I PMO I feel less energetic, I feel lazy, my drive to write or do college work goes away, I become more shy and less social, I find it harder to talk to girls, in short it feels like I just say fuck it to everything after I PMO and then after about a day or two I start recharging back into my extroverted, social self.
    speaking of girls I hate to sound like I'm bragging but I get told that I'm quite good looking and when I haven't PMO'd for like a few days I can literally feel the energy coming from girls when I talk to them and conversation/ flirtation just flows naturally however when I PMO and try to talk to any girl the same day or day after, I stumble over my words a little and feel almost intimidated like I can feel there energy just not being as strong to me anymore. Again this is very prevalent to the new girl also.

    I'm typing to you literally ten minutes after a porn session and I'm here to just ask for advice. I hate watching porn and right now where I am mentally with my relationship life, I don't really even want sex, I just want to go out there and get to know people. It's my addictive mind that keeps bringing the porn back up on my phone, it's my addictive mind that looks at girl sexually even when I'm not that attracted to them.
    What can I do and what have you guys done to stop this addiction?
     
  2. NewTerritories

    NewTerritories virtual

    First, good on you for taking your future seriously, and deciding to tackle the porn issue, at such an early age!

    Second, get a deeper understanding of why you use porn. Sitting in a chair and thinking about it more will get you some of the way there. But I think what'll really help, and I recommend this for anyone, is journaling. Keep a record of your recovery. Keep track of urges and triggers. Reflect on your experiences over time.

    And to help orient you in the right direction, I suggest diving deep into learning about the science of (porn) addiction and porn-usage side effects.

    Also, learn about the porn industry, so when you think about 'porn', you don't just think about the polished end product and its preferred marketing image. You'll understand more of what's under the surface, the complex realities. The good, the bad, the ugly. At least, that could nudge you to be more picky about the porn you do consume.
     
    Last edited: Mar 12, 2017
  3. Tidus

    Tidus New Member

    Thanks for the pointers, dude
    Ill take the time out today to watch a few science videos on porn to get a better understanding.

    I think learning about the uses of porn like you said would most probably be beneficial too.
    I'll look into what you are telling me, thanks
     
  4. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    I arrived here via nofap, and was confused why I kept relapsing back to something that was killing me.

    Turns out it's impossible to white knuckle your way through. You have to face your fears, and build new, positive activities in your life (which both makes you less fearful and also replaces the PMO habit).

    Take a look at the stickies at the top of this forum. Everything you need to know is in there, but feel free to keep asking questions along your way.
     
    Billy B. likes this.
  5. Ben9353

    Ben9353 New Member

    Also new here. Have been trying to stop but i cant even when isay i will. So im here and need support
     
  6. Dennis Curtis

    Dennis Curtis New Member

  7. Billy B.

    Billy B. PMO is NOT an option!

    Yup. Get ready for a life-changing process, Tidus. Good on you for steppin' up!

    And welcome. :cool:
     
  8. Good decision. Wishing you well.
     

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