An excellent ebook about how to convert Allen Carr's quit smoking method to use to quit PMO

Discussion in 'Pornography Addiction' started by manofk, Jan 9, 2017.

  1. manofk

    manofk Member

    This excellent hackbook has been posted on the Reboot Nation forum and I'm surprised it hasn't been posted here yet.

    https://sites.google.com/site/hackbookeasypeasy/home

    First off to make quite clear; I didn't write this, I'm merely sharing it as I thought the core idea is actually game changing when it comes to quitting PMO so everyone on here deserves to see it! Essentially the writer has taken Allen Carr's (highly successful) approach to quitting smoking and applied the principles to quitting porn.

    OK so the writing of the book could use a little improvement and some of the technicalities in it may not be quite correct but looking beyond that the actual main ideas of the book genuinely make quitting PMO easy. It has completely changed my mindset from one of "sacrifice", "hardship", "abstaining", and "challenging" etc to understanding that actually quitting PMO is easy and I don't need to consider it difficult anymore. Since I read and applied the ideas in the book I'm no longer battling to quit porn, it's suddenly effortless.

    This is the link to the original post on the Reboot Nation forum so if you want to comment on whether you like it or don't like it, please do so there rather than shooting the messenger on this forum! http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=11997.0
     
    le_petit_moster and Wabi-sabi like this.
  2. Thanks Manofk~ Here is a "hackbook" of a Method that does NOT ask you to use 'Willpower'.
    ~It is based on a very successful method and I am confident you will see results.
    ~You don't need to quit until you complete reading the book !!! In fact I recommend not to !!!
    ~You will learn how to stop the slippery slope of thoughts-urges-cravings, you will not ignore or fight the thought.
    ~You will not feel 'miserable and deprived' when you overcome a PMO urge. And you will not feel 'miserable and guilty' when you fail either.
    ~You will learn about the two sides of sex.
    ~You will learn why the instinctive WillPower method is destructive.
    ~The book does not engage in scare tactics. It's goal is your happiness. You will be free from the shackles of slavery to PMO. Like Count De Monte Cristo.
    ~You will face the world in an elated mood after you are done with the book. You will have the energy to say “ Yippeee! I am free. I am not a slave any more. I am glad I don’t have to PMO”
    ~You will find no reason to hang around forums any more - unless your intention is to help other’s out.
    ~You will not worry about a slip-lapse-relapse escalation stages as you will not feel ‘miserable and guilty’ at the first slip. But then that won’t happen is almost most cases.

    ~Check it out. I guarantee you results based on my personal experience. Cheers!!!
    Discussions:
    http://www.rebootnation.org/forum/index.php?topic=11997.0
    https://sites.google.com/site/hackbookeasypeasy/home
     
  3. goingforward

    goingforward Keep calm and carry on!

    The original Easy Way book is much better to read. ;)
     
  4. Indeed it is. How can I not say otherwise.
     
  5. I actually emailed Easy Way back in 2012 and got a reply from the director saying that something for porn was in the pipeline, but that it could take 12-24 months before it got to the top of the pile. That was 48 months ago now...
     
  6. I can expect a cease and desist notice soon then ?
     
  7. TheUnderdog

    TheUnderdog Active Member Staff Member

    Allen Carr's book is amazing and many of the principles can be applied to PMO.

    The only problem is that Allen Carr's method relies heavily on the idea that smoking itself is not pleasurable. I think we can all agree that PMOing is highly pleasurable by itself.

    With that said, many of the ideas still apply. I will definitely read it.

    Is there a PDF version somewhere?
     
    Wabi-sabi likes this.
  8. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    I'm really enjoying this book so far.

    One thing for me though which doesn't match the experience of the author or a lot of other people: I escalated several times, but I never went through a phase where I considered the hardcore genres to be disgusting (at least not the ones I was in to). Even when it happened as a child, I was highly aroused be the extreme genres at first sight. Rebelliously watching porn in the 90s with friends, they would often say "ew, gross. Let's find something else." while I was secretly hiding my extreme arousal. I didn't consistently escalate though for quite some time even after turning 19. The main reason was embarrasment. I was still quite (though slightly less) aroused by softcore content, so I though "why risk getting caught with something really bad". After a while I crossed several thresholds, allowing myself to watch whatever I "really wanted" to see. As sad as it is these were among the most transcendental and pleasurable times in my life. It wasn't until later that I saw the subtle violence and coercion, the unnatural and unrealistic elements that I developed mixed feelings and then desentization with the harder stuff.

    After fully into addiction, porn became much less enjoyable and everything that the author says hits the nail on the head. Some of the circumstances and justifications surrounding my first tastes were the same as what the author describes, but age 10-20 I did genuinely relish getting my hands on as much porn as possible. In the early phases it was like a treasure hunt, taking an extra long time walking the dog and finding more and more shredded Hustler pages in the woods, hiding them under my mattress and waiting to have the house to myself.
     
  9. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    ...and then the dial up came in. Again I needed the house to myself as the family computer was in the living room. The connecting modem was like the sound of angels singing.
     
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  10. Addiction has no pleasure in my book..it has the illusion of pleasure and a crutch. Quoting from my book "Remember, the PMO never were genuine rewards. They were equivalent to wearing tight shoes to get the pleasure of taking them off. So if you feel that you must have a little reward, let that be your substitute; while you are working, wear a pair of shoes or an underwear a size too small for you, don't allow yourself to remove them until you have your break, then experience that wonderful moment of relaxation and satisfaction when you do remove them. Perhaps you feel that would be rather stupid. You are absolutely right. It's hard to visualize while you are still in the trap, but that is what PMOers do. It's also hard to visualize that soon you won't need that little 'reward', and you'll regard your friends who are still in the trap with genuine pity and wonder why they cannot see the point."

    I have considered brain chemistry and you can see that in my book- the porn waterslides.. and the little monster ... they both are the dopamine surges and the resulting DeltaFosb etc. But I decided not to go into it just to show off my knowledge. They are dime a dozen out there. I don't believe PMOers will quit with this knowledge of brain science.

    I am a bit wary of PDF...it will allow a PMOer ( who is in the middle of feeling miserable and guilty) to skip chapters. All the numbers to unlock the combo is given but...they need to be used in its right consequence. Hope you understand. Of course readers can make a PDF capture and keep it for personal use.
     
  11. Who knows. Here's what he said:

    Thank you also for flagging up the need for us to apply Allen Carr's Easyway method to porn addiction and rest assured this is something which very much on our agenda. We have a dynamic global publishing programme and we have many addictions/issues to which we aim to apply the method. It may be 18-24 months before porn addiction rises to the top of the list but I am certain that we will get there eventually.

    Thank you for suggesting the links which you think might be of interest - I'll be sure to pass those on to the project team at the appropriate time


    So fairly non-committal.
     
  12. Xqwzts

    Xqwzts New Member

  13. Wabi-sabi

    Wabi-sabi Imperfect, impermanent, and incomplete

    There was a discussion of the Allen Carr method a couple of years ago, when this video was posted.



    I highly recommend it - it really helped me. The genius of it all is that you don't need willpower, just realization that there is no single good reason to carry on PMO'ing - you think porn is helping you deal with stress, etc, but it's actually just making things worse.

    Accepting that I was frightened to quit was pure gold. I love the statement that you "realize there's nothing to give up."

    It's not everything you need to do to stop porn, but it's an essential first step. Don't expect magic - I've relapsed a few times since watching the video, more through the power of habit than anything else.

    Like it says higher up in the thread, there is more to quitting porn. I think that's because smoking is more of a lifestyle thing whereas porn is a place to hide, and so bound up in things like self-esteem and insecurity and fear - and, yes, I'm facing up to mine - but this is as good a place to start as any.

    I intend to read the hack book with interest.
     
  14. Tseldo

    Tseldo Active Member

    Intellectually he's right, but the habit remains, the compulsive desire (not intellectual one) desires, etc. It's a great first step, like a self-assessment that gives the motivation needed to quit. But it stops there.
     
  15. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    I think his argument is the act itself without any mental association of pleasure due to pavlovian conditioning isn't very pleasurable. Likewise, if you were never addicted to porn and have had a lot of sexual experience and for the first time as an adult view porn. You would be curious as to how these people can do what they are doing but, you wouldn't necessarily feel pleasure in the same way you do now post addiction. It would just be streaming video content that you don't really need in your life.
     
  16. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex

    I doubt there is any book out there that can solve addiction just from reading it. All a good book can do is give that hope and motivation that fuels self autonomy. I have high hopes for this book simply due to my respect for Alan Carr.
     
  17. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    I am a long way into the book now. The author offers convincing arguments against "moderation". It's uncanny how he describes all of these thought processes and strategies (to keep PMOing) which I assumed to be my own creation.

    I haven't masturbated for 10 days and I feel fine, no "blue balls" or anything. The book is giving me license to challenge the deeply ingrained belief that abstinence will lead to some kind of problem. It's a fear of the unknown, trading known problems caused be masturbation for hypothetical problems caused by abstinence.
     
  18. hope2overcome

    hope2overcome No Love, No Sex


    I just started reading it and it hit on such an important point that I was previously unaware of but had an inkling of. He purports the reason we continue to PMO is because we fear quitting. That doesn't help me at face value but on application truer words have never been said. When I feel the cravings, I fear what would happen if I don't give in. It's like being super hungry and fearing death if we don't satisfy our hunger right away. So, during the times when cravings hit, I simply decided I don't fear quitting and bam, cravings gone. However, they came back and I gave in to a snapchat video. Getting over this fear is the true first step in recovery because without this fear we are ready to anticipate whatever may come next. Your fear of blue balls is an example of fearing quitting. Great book, thanks OP for posting it.
     
  19. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    There are so many gems in this book. I suppose that it is not that the author is reading my mind, but rather that after PMOing for a number of years, everybody will make the same observations, although they may not be able to fully admit these to themselves.

    I thought about all of the above in the past. The book validates my hunches and reminds me of all the places that you come to in the PMO cycle.
     
  20. Imfree

    Imfree Member

    A lot of the fears with quitting are paradoxical. I know for certain that excessive PMO will reduce virility and cause sexual problems (fortunately I never got to the point of PIED, although several indicators of performance and enjoyment of sex were significantly reduced). In spite of the known risk of excessive PMO, I assume that there are risks (perhaps more severe) of not enough PMO with the absence of another method for achieving a large orgasm and maintaining arousal for a significant amount of time on a regular basis. These risks are assumed to exist without having ever tested for their existence. [In fact, my max No PMO and max No MO went long enough to prove that they do not exist.] The imagined risks are :

    Premature ejaculation (going back to the stamina that I had at age 12).
    Atrophy of the genitals/libido (use it or lose it). Either wasting away or "exploding".
    Dangerously out of control lust for women, anger, rebeliousness.
    Disease
    Severe anxiety and depression

    All of these can be disproved by information gained from research and personal experience. Furthermore, some of these are proven to result from excessive PMO, not a lack of PMO. Even if there was an element of truth to any of these, I could always reverse the effect by "catching up" with my PMO (which would be what the addict wants anyway).

    The above fears are completely ridiculous when I think about them.

    This leads to a greater fear: Fear that I would never have sex with or even see the nude body of a woman half as hot/curvy/busty/etc. as my favorite pornstars, or even if I could that the number of partners and type of sex would be immensely unsatisfying by comparison. I feel like passing up any opportunity to see a hot naked woman makes me "gay".

    These fears are also ridiculous. I have already lived scenarios and touched bodies similar to what I have seen in porn (at least the type of porn which doesn't leave me feeling terrible afterwards). Maybe it hasn't been quite as much as I wanted in certain respects, but close enough, plus I had the bonus of real experience and personal connection. It is quite likely that I will have sex with more desireable women in the future and that I will enjoy the sex more if I fully get off PMO. The idea that porn makes you less gay is also ridiculous. Even if you don't escalate to gay/tranny and stick to gangbangs and the like (which was my experience), you are still enjoying looking at a lot of cock and incidentally associating other aspects of men with arousal and orgasm.
     
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