Thanks, Squire, for listening to what I had to say. I really appreciate it. I wanted to preface what I had to say with something to the effect that I wasn’t disagreeing, or agreeing for that matter, with anything anyone else had said. I just wanted to share something from my past. When you’ve made mistakes in your life (and by mistakes I mean mistakes in general, not just ones associated with the subject of this forum) you sometimes don’t know anyone who knew you when something significant happened in your life. So you’re not able to turn to them and say, "Remember when . . . " . I have some good friends now in my life, but they’re not such close friends that I’d be sure they’d really be interested in this story from my past. I’m not talking badly of my current friends. It’s possible, for instance, that they have their own stories and don’t share them with me for the same reasons I haven’t. Well that’s something to think about and suggests to me a way forward, for me to be a better friend. From time to time I have greatly enjoyed meditating. The practice has dried out for me over the past few years and I don’t find it as helpful. I find it difficult to do anything short of wholeheartedly. Though perhaps you’re right, and maybe I should just find time to meditate. Even five minutes now and then is probably better than nothing. When I was younger, I was very open to religious ideas. Even when I was apart from God, I felt His absence and my separation from Him, and so when someone asked me whether I was right with God, I would shake my head. Now it has been many years since I have felt this way. So if you were to ask me now, it would be apparent to me what was being asked, but it would not seem to me to be (like it had been in the past) a provocation. It is not clear to me that I have hardened my heart or that the way I now approach hypotheticals (like the question of whether God exists) is very different now. Apart from watching pornography, the apparent morality of my life is now not so very different from churchgoing folks, and so if I were convinced of the truth of this or that religion, I would not find it so very difficult to live in the way they do. For the first 25 years of my life I was a churchgoer and believer, and actually I enjoy their conversation and company. But now, I couldn’t do it in good conscience. It would be like living a lie now. In your reply to me you wrote that your goal is a faith that is more centered on the person of Jesus. Is this a search for the historical Jesus: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Historical_Jesus Or something different?