A new beginning

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by staythecourse, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    I don't get into those games or have to really worry about them after a few weeks. That game/obsession/strategy is lack of freedom. Too many examples on the extreme stuff.
  2. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Another day no PMO. Good to be staying sober, as challenging as the raw emotions may be at times. Monday is an easy day for me, just working from 4-6pm today. Errands/Laundry/Gym. Nothing big on the horizon, just trying to stay healthy and centered. Be ready for temptation. Stay active and healthy.

    Stay the course..
    TheScriabin likes this.
  3. Hello Penis My Old Friend

    Hello Penis My Old Friend Well-Known Member

    Well done on the half century :)
  4. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Thank you, and same to you :)
  5. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Another day no PMO. Joined the running club at 6:30am this morning. 5:30wakeup. Didn't feel good getting out of bed, but ALWAYS feels good after. This morning it was a track workout. Felt damn good, and so much more fun to do it with other people. Bachelor's paradise too..three cute girls, and another guy (5 of us.) I'm not really interested in any of them, but its good practice in hanging out with women. It helps me to be more comfortable around them as well as develop friendships with the opposite sex. Its funny seeing what soft creatures they are, how they are so hesitant to say anything controversial and love to talk, talk, talk. It shows the tremendous value for sense of humor, as well as confidence. I also notice how much they love to talk, talk, talk.

    I felt some gratitude this morning. The full life I have created. Between a job I truly do enjoy (just need to work less in the summer.) Being part of a running club. Being a part of the business community. And finally being a part of the SLAA community. Funny to hang out in the morning with Yale PhD students, only to see AA members the night before fresh out of jail or in a sober house and dead broke. The next day I may be hanging out with bankers..before I see the crazy wealthy ladies I teach tennis to. Mix in some sex and love addicts, and I really do see it all!

    I also am feeling the smallness of New Haven over and over. I've had a bit of an urge to move from this small city for years now, and have been exploring other cities by taking lots of domestic trips. Nothing has really stuck. The major problem too of course, is that I have built this local company bringing me earnings of close to 200k a year, and that would be hard as hell to give up. Plus, with a basic college education, and no real experience in anything besides tennis, I could see myself in a $10/hr job in a different city, in my 40's, which is kind of a crazy tradeoff.

    Reading the posts on this site, and including mine, I see so much overanalysis and lack of confidence. A lot of times we just need to get out there and live, participate in life, and stop analyzing. Thats basically what Coach Corey Wayne says..over..and over and over. Do your thing..join groups, hang with your boys. If your girl is meant to come back to you she will, and if she doesn't, she doesn't. Just live your life. And if you're single, just go out there and experience life. I see so much analysis and self victimization here. With that said, I am guilty of it, AND this is a journaling site where we talk about the thoughts we have, and ask for advice. So it is a bit harsh and makes sense that this is what comes out here.

    Stay the course..
    Londoner and TheScriabin like this.
  6. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    This is the kind of fear most of us have. But is that fear really justified? If you move to another city, wouldn't it be more realistic to expect that you'd build a new company for yourself? One that earns you even more?

    Just something to think about :)
  7. cjm

    cjm Active Member

    That's serious dollar. Wish i earned that :)
    Thebeg likes this.
  8. Fry2

    Fry2 Well-Known Member

    With that income you could be financially independent soon. Then you could go anywhere you want..3
  9. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    thanks for the thoughts. I was broke until I was 33. I started teaching tennis again and somehow built it up..literally teaching lessons on public courts in a town. One lesson led to another to another to a larger lesson to hiring a pro to help me and another pro..etc etc. It kind of just happened..with that said tons of hard work, drive, sweating away all day and so on. Lots of long tough days.

    The town wants to shut me down though and Im starting to feel it in the bones..Im 37 and my goal has always been to be out of tennis at age 40..so it may all work out as its meant to. Save some more buck for a couple years, get shut down and move on to another city. I see myself starting one more company in my life. I dont know what it is, or where it will be, but Im going to get there. And I think if I stay sober with this stuff, it really opens me up to great possibilities..
  10. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

  11. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Oh, well thats a long story lol. Long story short, Im teaching lessons on public courts, making $..the town doesn't like that. Technically they own the courts and want me off them. They have policies in place and can take actions so that I am unable to teach there. Eventually I will own be able to teach at a private court (someone's house). Maybe a few hours once or twice a week..and see my earnings dwindle 60-70%.

    As I said, this is a very unique business I built up. Its been a hell of a run. I am also starting to run out of new customers as the well drys up. For a long time now I've said I want to do this until I'm 40..so 2 1/2 more years. I hope to find something in a couple years thats entreprenurial, makes $, has a philanthropic component and all the while, still fires me up. Teaching tennis 10hrs a week on the side for cash would be a great bonus to it all. I know its out there for me, but I must search for it.
  12. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Another day no PMO. Hopefully a good day ahead..groceries, gym, a few hrs of tennis..and 5 miles with the running club tonight. Trying to stick to healthy eating and a balanced life. SLAA meeting was ok last night..kind of annoying, lots of old people, not a lot of young people or people my age committed to the fellowship. Its ok to be ahead of the curve, don't want to be 55 and single :)

    Stay the course..
  13. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Ran with the running group this evening. It was fun and a really great time. Good solid 5 mile run followed by trivia at shake shack. Funny though, something seems off. The club changes every 6 months, which is somewhat natural with young people involved. And part of living in New Haven. But I just felt off trying to get involved in the conversation, the little pieces of nervous laughter, having something witty to say etc.

    I think I am more hypersensitive to all this stuff, being sober now. And I know the success was simply participating, getting involved. I was hesitant to participate in the trivia,but did it anyways. Many people ran home after the run..a good chance they didn't want to socialize or do trivia. Plus, its good practice to be in these situations over and over. Practice.

    As I was walking home I really felt the urge to leave New Haven. Not exactly an urge or craving, but I thought to myself I need to have a goal date of departing New Haven. I also need to write down a series of things I want in the next place I live, demographics, city size, weather, etc. That was the most serious I've thought about it so far.

    Its so hard to leave the $, but life is too short.
    Thebeg likes this.
  14. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Another day no PMO. The journey continues. Going to the car dealer to look at my car yet again for the shaking. Been going on forever, who knows, give it another shot. I am also teaching my first paddle clinic..Im doing it on the town paddle courts and hope I don't get in trouble! Off to teach tennis after that, then see my therapist and an SLAA meeting tonight. Again, a pretty nicely structured day. My 20-25hr winter work weeks are pretty sweet. Enjoying them. Hopefully this mind stops racing about where I live, being single and investments.

    Stay the course..
    Thebeg likes this.
  15. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Another day no PMO. The days are adding up. Lack of sleep last night, as the rollercoaster of some risky investing was weighing on me. This, of course, is a luxury problem. Definitely woke up with some morning wood, sexual energy. The strength is back down there, and if I do ever get a girlfriend, I know I will have some solid sexual energy built up for her.

    Lonnnnng day on the courts ahead. Need to get a powernap in. From the crazy ladies to kids, it will come from all angles. Its what I signed up for, and my only really hard working day I have each week (not bad.)

    Heading to North Carolina Dec 26th-Dec 31st. Another state to see. Look forward to checking it all out. An AA meeting, an SLAA meeting, maybe a little golf and general exploration. I am also looking to book a trip to Asia..with a tour company. Japan, Thailand, China, Hong Kong..all very interesting places. I definitely have an attraction to asian women, and need to be careful as to how much the trip is influenced by this subconsciously. I am very interested in Asian culture, but seeing all those women is tempting too. I have no plan to hookup with an asian woman, or get a prostitute and what not, and will be with a tour group, but also know temptations can sweep right up on you. Oh, luxury problems..

    Stay the course..
    Thebeg likes this.
  16. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Good to realize. I have a similar thing with Brazilian women, still want to go to Brazil, but not being able to hook up with a woman there should not negatively impact the trip.
  17. cjm

    cjm Active Member

    my mate has been telling me some stories about thailand. wow. Im not ashame to admit im thinking of going there as a sex tourist, the very worst kind of tourist :)

    apparently you can get hookers very easily, and even normal girls are happy to go with western men and often dont even ask for money, seems like a very different culture
    TheScriabin and Thebeg like this.
  18. TheScriabin

    TheScriabin Active Member

    ^I've never done anything like that. Don't think I've got the courage! I like the idea of being a bit bad though. Do you guys think visiting prostitutes can be a healthy part of rebooting?
  19. Thebeg

    Thebeg Well-Known Member

    Not quite sure. There is no emotional connection or anything so I'd say it's a bit like porn. But on the other hand it's real sex with a real person.
  20. staythecourse

    staythecourse Active Member

    Id like to progress in this area of my life, and all that behavior would do the opposite for me. I can drive about .8 miles to go to an asian massage parlor.

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