Day 1 First timer to these boards, and first post since joining today. Quick background - married male, dad of 2 little ones, been exposed/addicted to porn since I was in my mid teens. Only came to light that this was a real problem in my 30s, when my then-girlfriend/now-wife found my stache of clips and asked me WTF before melting down and having a massive blowout crying session. Never anything extreme, in fact more turned on by the "softer core" higher end studio porn, and haven't ever experienced the escalating drive to find harder and harder stuff to please me. Fast forward a number of years since that, have seen multiple therapists, done a lot of research on the addiction, and had some nice runs at abstinence, including a few 90 and 120 day Windows....the last of which was 36 days, that ended last week, after which I've had sputters of on-and-off windows of 2-3 days but can't get farther than that. Classics symptoms of the addiction - ED, gawking at girls, view the world in a sexualized manner, not turned on by my wife - check the boxes and I'm your guy. Bottom line - I'm here because I need help, I can't go this road solely alone, and while I've made progress I need more assistance to take it to the next level. My wife and I have so many issues to deal with, this is just one, but the bottom line is telling her the latest on my situation won't do any good right now - we have no connection or intimacy on any level and this will just further wreck the few strands that are keeping us together (for sake of the kids). More to explain on that later. So I'm here to offer help and be helped....I know the benefits of abstinence and rebooting because I've been there and happy to share. I know how good it feels to stay away and almost feel your brain start to rewire and purge away the disgusting porn visuals. I'm happy to share the good experiences and lessons I've had, and to learn from others. I need this desperately - can you help me?