36-year-old virgin

Discussion in 'Ages 30-39' started by Londoner, Mar 25, 2016.

  1. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Yeah, we definitely should. I can usually do a Friday or Saturday night with a bit of notice.
     
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  2. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Did almost two hours at the gym tonight. Hard to avoid looking at the women there, but I'm actually getting more of a positive kick from the exercise anyway!

    I have my first counselling session next Thursday evening - shame it clashes with my piano class - though I'm not feeling anywhere near as bad as I did when I initially asked my doctor to refer me. I'm now wondering what I need to do to get the most out of these sessions.
     
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  3. Thebeg

    Thebeg Active Member

    Would it be any different if you were drunk too? No, so no it's not wrong because every person is a responsible for him/herself IMO.

    Good job at the gym! Sounds like you're putting the work in there. How's the food intake (quantity and quality) at the moment?

    What will the therapy entail precisely? I think it's just a matter of going there and doing whatever homework you get from your psychologist.
     
  4. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Not sure - I was reading a PUA forum and they seemed to think it was taking advantage of an inebriated state if both parties aren't drunk. I don't know, I'll just carry on with the plan as is for now I guess.

    Food intake hasn't really changed either way. I'm sure it would help lose the belly fat a lot quicker but, to be honest, a proper diet on top of no-PMO might be asking too much at this stage.

    Don't know what the therapy will entail yet. I think it's CBT, but I'll find out next week.
     
  5. Fry2

    Fry2 Active Member

    Piano, gym and going out. You're doing great, Londoner, very nice! If you keep doing positive things to improve your live you will keep reaping bigger and better results.

    With respect to your question about (not) being drunk I'd say, don't think too much. Enjoy your evening and see where it goes. Too drunk chicks should turn you off anyway regardless if you've been drinking or not. If you are not the real party guy who gets hammered all the time you won't have much fun with a girl that gets hammered and fucks around - they only cause trouble. And in my opinion good girls (that's the ones a classy guy like you would want to date) enjoy a glass wine or two but never or rarely really "lose it" to the point where a guy could take advantage of that.
     
    Last edited: Feb 18, 2017
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  6. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Thanks, Fry. I actually want to do even more when practical.

    I've been feeling pretty melancholy today for no particular reason. I think I'm back in flatline again, but need to be careful to control any lingering urges.
     
  7. cjm

    cjm Active Member

    Good work mate. Especially the gym :) Deffo makes you feel better
     
  8. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Coming up to the three-week point and have had a lot of urges today even though I'm pretty shrivelled and limp right now. Days 8-12 and 20-24 have been regular relapse points for me in the past.

    Another good session at the gym tonight. I mainly use the resistance machines, but now wondering if I should start bench-pressing weights too.
     
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  9. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Got my first session with the therapist tonight - wish me luck!
     
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  10. Fry2

    Fry2 Active Member

    I wish you a friendly and capable therapist ;-)
     
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  11. Thebeg

    Thebeg Active Member

    Awesome, have a good one, let us know how it went!

    Do you have male psychologist?
     
  12. cjm

    cjm Active Member

    Good luck dude. Interested to hear how it went
     
  13. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Been in a bad mood since this morning and it only got worse later, which made me really want to relapse. I'd practically decided it would happen tonight, but the urge seems to have gone down now.

    Anyway at least my bad mood gave me something to talk to the therapist about. Yes, it's a guy, though we didn't talk about P-addiction today. He asked me a bit about my family and why I feel the way I do about myself. He gave me some reading material, part of which lists a whole load of fun things to divert myself. Ironically, one of the suggestions is "erotica (sex books, movies)"!
     
  14. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    RELAPSE

    PMO'd a few times today after 25 days clean.

    Went out last night and talked to a girl. She seemed really keen to begin with, but lost interest soon enough. I probably need to switch my brain off a bit more when talking to girls and not overthink things.
     
  15. cjm

    cjm Active Member

    thats a shame dude, but well done for going out and chatting up the birds, and for reaching 25 days. Have you ever just tried M'ing without porn when you get the urge? im on weekends for a while but defo up for going out again as your wing :)
     
  16. Londoner

    Londoner Active Member

    Thanks, bud.

    As for M'ing without P, I can't seem to get hard on my own. Even if it's just fantasy, the fantasy will be based on porn since I have no other experience. :(
     
  17. cjm

    cjm Active Member

    it sounds a bit kinky, but some people call it "mindful M" or something - just try touching your own body a bit more (told you it sounds kinky). I think P is the main enemy here - do anything to stay away from it IMO. That way you can escape from this conditioning of relying on fantasy/voyerism that we all have from P
     
  18. Thebeg

    Thebeg Active Member

    So you relapsed the day after you talked to the girl? Sounds familiar. As if we're building up sexual energy through the interaction, but if it doesn't come to fruition, it's somehow tempting to release that energy.

    Still good job on talking to the girl, you're doing better than me at the moment. I'd say keep it up! :)
     
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  19. NoDestination

    NoDestination Active Member

    This! Desensitisation. We need some weird ass fantasies to keep it up. This alone should be a wake up call.
     
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