NOW I AM FREE! I failed many many times, never making it too far, and usually relapsing at couple of days, weeks, or a month. But this time it worked. I do not want to get into "my story" because it is full of triggers and it is very long. I just want to share what worked for me. I was 24 ( just about to turn 25) when I started this journey. Now it is 3 years later (I updated the text haha). I'm glad to say I won this war for good - the rest of my life. THIS IS THE BEST ADVICE I COULD GIVE TO MY YOUNGER SELF, and I suppose also to MANY OF YOU. So here it is, my 5 TIPS TO SUCCESS: 1) MOST IMPORTANT REALIZATION: your time here is LIMITED We are only young for a short period of time! LIVE A GREAT AWESOME LIFE ! YOUTH IS FLEETING, If you haven't noticed by now, time runs FAST! Man it really does! THE TIME IS NOW! WHEN WE GET OLDER LET THERE BE NO REGRET REALLY THE SADDEST OF ALL EMOTIONS! LIVE: FULLY, CONFIDENTLY, PURELY ; BE DISCIPLINED, FIGHT FOR GOOD, DENY THE BAD, BE FOREVER WATCHFUL , BE VICTORIOUS , BE FREE, PURE, HEALTHY, BRIGHT AND LOVE ALL THAT IS GOOD! JUST LIKE THAT 2 MORE YEARS WILL PASS BY. IF YOU ARE UNDER 25 YOU PROBABLY DON'T EVEN KNOW IT. THAT'S WHY IM TELLING YOU. IN YOUR LATE 20s YOU WILL DISCOVER YEARS PASS BY LIKE THEY WERE MONTHS! YOU DON'T HAVE THE TIME TO PLAY AROUND WITH THIS! YOU GOTTA BE SERIOUS ABOUT IT. 2) THE FOUNDATIONAL QUESTION: HOW BAD IS IT TO RELAPSE JUST 1 MORE TIME? OUR MINDS WORK VERY SUBTLY, AND LET ME REVEAL THE BIGGEST TRICK YOUR MIND PULLS ON YOU: YOUR MIND BACKWARDS RATIONALIZES , - IT MAKES EXCUSES TO JUSTIFY DOING THINGS THAT YOU WANT TO DO, EVEN THOUGH IT IS ACTUALLY BAD TO DO IT!! So, when the urges hit you strong, you MAKE IT OK in your head, and only afterwards do you realize OH NO, THAT WAS A BAD IDEA! This types of tricks that your mind plays on you are MANY MANY! Some of them are: * "Ah, I'll just do it this time.. I've done it many times before, this is just 1 more time.. let me just do it now, and sometime later I will really stop.. etc.. " * " I had a good run, nothing bad happens if I relapse now, my progress is still not destroyed.." * " I have to do it, to release the tension.. , it''s healthy to do it.." * " The pleasure is worth it .. " * "Ah just do it" - and let your mind go blank * "Everybody does it.. " ALL OF THE ABOVE ARE LIES! - Tricks - and there are million other tricks with which you trick yourself. So, the one THING that will really really get you to realize the KEY TO SUCCESS is THE ANSWER TO THIS 1 QUESTION: 1 RELAPSE. Can't be that bad right? Just 1 RELAPSE. What, is it that bad ?? THE ANSWER: 1 RELAPSE = creates a spiral of 1 relapses , where you can not stop! Because you always justify it as just 1 relapse. 1 RELAPSE = CAN LEAD TO YEARS OF ADDITIONAL STRUGGLE! 1 relapse is not just 1 relapse. It is a bundle of 1 relapses and IT CAN WASTE YOU YEARS! 1 RELAPSE = it destroys much of your progress. It is wasting time. it will take weeks or months to get back to that level. And it may happen again and again. Time is the most precious thing you got!!!! AND IT IS LIMITED!!!! TIME IS THE KEY! IT RUNS FAST! 1 relapse is all it takes to waste years repeating the same mistake.. Let's say our best years are from 18 - 35 (in terms of energy, dating, life excitement, building character...) So many young men TODAY flush all of their best years down the toilet! Don't "ENJOY STUPIDLY" YOU ARE DIGGING A HOLE! STOP! TREASURE YOUR LIFE! TREASURE YOUR TIME! 1 RELAPSE = THAT IS What this is all about. Just take care of that 1! DO NOT DO IT! 3) RULES TO OBEY So the first 2 points are about understanding the "HARSHNESS" and REALITY of TIME and ACTIONS. 3rd point is WHAT YOU MUST KNOW AND DO TO GET YOUR SELF UNDER CONTROL. MEDITATE ON EACH AND EVERY ONE OF THIS POINTS! THIS WILL DETERMINE YOUR SUCCESS 1) SEXUAL CURIOSITY (on internet) IS NOT ALLOWED TO BE ACTED UPON! There is a reason I put this rule No.1 ! - Internet world is FULL of TRIGGERS. Many times it start with some small trigger - a simple picture that is just a bit too revealing, and then it spirals and spirals until you are overpowered by lust and go "crazy". "Let me look just a little" is NOT ALLOWED! Don't blame yourself for being curious but don't go down that road either. Ignore it and put it out of your mind. Do this repeatedly if you have to. (My personal tip is also this, you may or may not find it helpful: imagine that you physically grab the lustful thought which you want to eliminate with your hand and throw it out and then burn it or something - do this with some intensity and moving your hands and even perhaps using your voice) Practicing this rule will make your mind stop being curious about those things automatically after you've successfully done it a couple of times. And that is already what will be a great accomplishment! Also, THIS IS A FOREVER RULE. EVEN AFTER WEEKS , MONTHS, YEARS, even when you are "HEALTHY" , acting on your lustful curiosity may DESTROY your progress quickly!!! This decisions are LIFETIME decisions! NEVER DO ANY CLICK ON YOUR COMPUTER THAT IS IN THE SLIGHTEST DIRECTION TO PORN. The little clicks of curious wondering are deadly. Don't! Deny it. Just ignore your curiosity. Let it go. And testing to see how you respond to porn is really the most DANGEROUS thing you can do. DO NOT DO IT! 2) When you feel the smallest LUST / TEMPTATION TO PMO IMMEDIATELY DENY IT! SAY NO! Say it with POWER! ACTUALLY Imagine those dark forces inside you and throwing that lustful ugly feelings out!!! SERIOUSLY! You will never beat porn if you don't do the difficult! Deny it! This is YOU, YOUR LIFE, wake up! Be STRONG! If you do that you will WIN the battle every single time! And THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ABOUT ALL OF THIS IS, WITH GOING AGAINST YOUR SELF - AGAINST YOUR "BAD DESIRES" AND CHOOSING BETTER THINGS, YOU WILL CHANGE YOURSELF A LITTLE BIT. YOU WILL BECOME ONE DEGREE MORE OF WHO YOU WANT TO BE. In time you change so much, PMO is the furthest thing from your mind. I am an example of that. 3) CATCH THE TEMPTATION EARLY! IMMEDIATELY!! GET INTO A NEW MIND-STATE This one may be the most important one! This is how it works. It starts as a small desire, then it sits in your head and in your body and it gains in power. THIS ONE IS SOOOO IMPORTANT. If you are too late, porn will overpower you. The urges will build , DO NOT LET THAT HAPPEN. RE-FOCUS your thoughts. RE-EVALUATE your life plan. DO SOMETHING. GO OUTSIDE. A walk, or jogging or prayer or cold shower or call a friend etc. Wash "bad thoughts" off of you. Fight them. If you want to be free, you will have to prove it! If you have small porn desires and you allow them to be there, then you don't want to get rid of porn strong enough. That is like allowing a lion around sheep just because a lion is currently sleeping.. NO WAY! 4.) DONT JUSTIFY DOING IT. If you decided to not do that, don't do it. NO JUSTIFYING! EVER! If you fail you will regret it. There is no one final time to do it. There is no comparing yourself to others.. there is no "this temptation is too strong" .. NOTHING! JUST DON'T DO IT. Strongly decide to never do it, and your mind won't even go there. - that is biggest SURPRISE REALIZATION I had when I started this journey! It is like, if you found out that you are seriously allergic to some food, after that you DO NOT THINK ABOUT IT. You just don't eat it. And it's not even a problem. This one is soooo snekay. Your mind will tell you well you can start this no porn thing at some other time again.. And many other tricks. Really just become aware of your thoughts and feelings and realize you are often subconscioulsy JUSTIFYING things you WANT but logically know that are BAD. 5) FORGET AND IGNORE WHAT YOU ARE FIGHTING AGAINST, WHEN THERE IS NO TEMPTATION JUST LIKE IF YOU DON'T HAVE AN ADDICTION TO HARD DRUGS. YOU WONT REALLY BE THINKING ABOUT THEM TOO MUCH. BUT THERE ARE STRONG DECISIONS INSIDE OF YOU THAT YOU KNOW YOU WON'T DO THEM IF YOU EVER HAD THE CHANCE. IGNORE THE BAD. REDIRECT YOUR THOUGHTS. If case of dreams and images and thoughts hitting us , do not dwell on them, but simply sort of push them aside and ignore them. Immediately take a deep breath and direct your attention elsewhere. 6) READ YOUR LIST OF RULES REGULARLY! READ AND RE-READ AND RECOMMIT TO THE PROCESS! Internalize the "rules". Honestly after a while, you will not have to think about them or re-read or anything.. You will internalize them rather quickly. 4) BONUS TIPS: REMEMBER YOUR PAST. REMEMBER WHAT FAILURE DOES! HOW BAD YOU FELT! WRITE IT DOWN! We are so quick to forget! Please do that! Don't be reminded at a relapse. Be forewarned. One of the problems is , in the heated moments you may not want porn lust to leave you - because it feels good. BUT IT CAN LEAVE IF YOU WANT it to leave and DECIDE to battle it out! If you wait, the feeling will overwhelm you in time and you will be powerless. The only way is to SAY NO EARLY EARLY EALRY!!! And it helps to say NO if you know WHY you have to say NO. This is it. Have the reasons in your mind. Because once the strong temptation hits, they will not be found in your head, unless you have them prepared in advance. WHEN THE URGES HIT, THINK ONLY ABOUT WHAT HAPPENS AFTER YOU RELAPSE YOU ARE LOST AND DEFEATED AND YOU LOSE POWER , LOSE CONFIDENCE ETC. SO CHANGE IT! 1 HOUR later, you'll be smiling and be happy that you did not relapse. Don't look back 5 years from now in utter defeat. DON'T DO IT. That is the only key to success. DO NOT DO IT. RECORD YOUR BENEFITS OF SUCCESS There will be many. NO EXCUSES! You are choosing between REGRET and VICTORY! You can do it. The past experiences have brainwashed us into thinking it's harder than it actually is. We remember failing, but don't remember that we could easily have chosen not to do it. This is 100% within your control. HAVE CONFIDENCE 5) LORD AND SAVIOR JESUS CHRIST This is NUMBER 1 reason I am where I am. I wanted to do EVIL. But God helped me. The Word of God anchors me. And I can not be shaken as easily as before. God takes your heart and purifies it, cleanses it, and gives you a new heart. Do not look at other people, supposed Christians and then judge Christ or God based on them. None of the Christians represents Christ as they should because none is perfect. But not only that VAST majority of "Christians" are NOT even Christians. Read the NEW TESTAMENT - 4 GOSPELS (Matthew, Mark, Luke, John). Or just read 1 Gospel (It's like 30 pages) IT IS SHORT! BUT IT CONTAINS LIFE! After reading that, you will see what it means to be a Christian. It is LOVE , HOLINESS, OBEDIENCE, PURITY... AND THE PEACE AND THE JOY YOU WILL RECEIVE WILL BE DELICIOUS. Turning to God in prayer, turning to Jesus, HE LIVES. He actually LIVES! It is always our free will, and He always receives the humble, and sincere. IF you seek, you WILL find. If you ask you will receive. What it means to seek and to ask is to do it SINCERELY , HUMBLY , and WITH FAITH !!! I love beatitudes, found in the Gospel of Matthew: Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are those who mourn, for they will be comforted. Blessed are the meek, for they will inherit the earth. Blessed are those who hunger and thirst after righteousness,for they will be filled. Blessed are the merciful, for they shall be shown mercy. Blessed are the pure in heart, for they will see God. Blessed are the peacemakers, for they will be called the sons of God. Blessed are those who are persecuted because of righteousness, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven. Blessed are you when people insult you, persecute you and falsely say all kinds of evil against you because of me. Rejoice and be glad, because great is your reward in heaven, for in the same way they persecuted the prophets who were before you. I personally testify , that God LOVES us, and that he is willing to help, BUT , under HIS CONDITIONS! Not our own. We are FREE to listen to the EVIL or to GOD. We can do whatever we want. IN THE END WE WILL REAP 10000 fold of what WE SOWED in our flesh. Some people say "no way, then why is there evil in the world if God exists." HE GAVE US FREE WILL! WE CAN DO EVIL IF WE WANT. ALSO, THE DEVIL RULES THIS WORLD RIGHT NOW! IT's all in the bible. It's all in those 30 pages of the gospel! World hates God, and they make believers seem ignorant when they themselves haven't even understood the basics of the Gospel and go attack it. Just know, in the end every single individual will be judged FAIRLY! According to the situation he lived in. IT WILL ALL BE FAIR. AND SPIRITUALLY PORN IS A DARK, DEMONIC FORCE. search youtube for Paul Washer, Tim Conway, ... and many others.. , then go into prayer mode THIS IS A SPIRITUAL BATTLE YOU GUYS! I actually had a dream once where I was looking from the screen of the computer to the face of some boy who was watching porn (so I saw his face and the background behind him). And in the back there was this 1 meter big shadowy but also real spider representing demonic force - demon feeding from this boy's lust. I felt the spider's EVIL powers and his luring power - causing this boy to lust - I felt this UGLY energy to the inner-most my stomach! I cant really explain it and I don't understand it completely but stay far away from it. WISH YOU ALL THE BEST!