19 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Califree209, Jun 15, 2013.

  1. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    So here's a little background of me:
    - 15 years old atm.
    - Going to be a Junior in high school soon.
    - Started PMO at around 5/6 grade (not sure how old)
    - My grades in school ever since I found out about PMO has dropped horribly now that I think of it. I used to be above 3.0 (elementary) then ever since middle school I don't think i've ever gotten back to a 3.0.
    - I might consider myself a chronic fapper averaged maybe at least twice a day usually for a long time.
    - Been trying to quit my PMO addiction since December 2012. I know that's long but this is the hardest thing i've ever done.
    - My longest streak has been around 30 days and i've been there two or three times.

    Side notes:
    - Before I found out about YBOP or anything I had a streak of about a week and was fapping maybe every other week and was feeling great so this can't be completely placebo.

    Feelings:
    - Whenever I relapse or am PMO frequently the feelings I feel are usually guilt, shame, disappointment, feel very angry at myself for failing, not being noticed much, voice is weak, no energy, hard chaser effect to want more but I know I shouldn't, Pimples start to come more often and take longer to go away, feel very unsocial, little anxiety(due to previous streaks practically eliminating the feeling,) tired all day, no motivation to do stuff,and just overall feel worthless.
    - Whenever I am on nofap/no PMO the feeling I feel are just simply amazing. I'm more happier, get more competitive, no acne, feel and get more social, actually was getting teachers mad at me for talking in class which never happened before, confidence sky high, no anxiety at all, feel more respected, I get more aware of and at thing, look better, crazy amount of energy, way much more free time, more motivation to get things done, sleep feels great, dreams feel real and get more vivid, more outgoing, deeper voice, I also somehow feel taller, usual boring stuff such as cleaning my room or washing the dishes turn fun(no lie,) my scrotum gets huge, love every opportunity to hang out with the homies, a whole lot more eye contact, girls actually calling me over to them, I spit some nice game also haha, I get more angry at the right times which I like, and... Yeah plenty more. Will add as I remember or else have new benefits.

    What I want to be known as:
    - What I really want to see myself as is an outgoing fun social guy who is great to be around. I want to be great with the ladies or at least have some female friends which I talk to on a daily basis. I want to be athletic. I want to have good grades. No more settling for less, just reach for the best. I want to have a nice job which I will enjoy. I want an amazing girlfriend which I will commit 100% of myself to. And I want to be the best that I can possibly be.
    - What I don't want to be known as is the guy under 2.0 gpa. I don't want to be known as the wanker. I don't want to be wasting my precious teenage time sitting at home fapping away to some women that i'll never see in my life.

    All this can ONLY be done by me beating my PMO addiction. It's as simple as that.

    I feel good writing those. That right there is my motivation.

    I will post regularly on this.

    Remember to take this lifestyle one day at a time.

    I will stop my PMO addiction.

    I'm SICK of this. No more fucking fails. I feel sick about myself.


    I will read this over and over again whenever I get a strong urge. It's not worth it.

    Thanks for reading and any advice/tips are always appreciated. Even a simple "keep going man" will help me tremendously. Stay strong bro's!
     
    Last edited: Nov 29, 2016
  2. Yuuichi

    Yuuichi New Member

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    15 years old?! I thought you were much older than that.

    Yeah, you definitely need to quit while you can. Your sexual urges are only going to get stronger in the coming months.

    Good luck
     
  3. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Yeah i'm a young one haha, i'm prepared this time I got everything down even a k9 app & thanks and good luck to you too!
     
  4. nomorewanking

    nomorewanking New Member

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Good luck brah! 15 is a great age to rid yourself of this, take it very seriously and keep coming back. Stay accountable to us if no one else.

    Work hard and stay strong
     
  5. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Thank you bro and good luck to you too!
     
  6. Zellomugi

    Zellomugi Guest

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    For some people like me it's not one day at a time

    it's 1 agonizing hour >.<

    I ALMOST had a relapse but when i was thinking those bad thoughts i flicked my wrist and the subtle pain snapped me out of it xD
     
  7. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Day 0:
    So nothing much today just chilled at home watching tv and playing xbox. Not really the funest thing to do but i'm usually lazy around the first couple days of rebooting. I plan on going very long and far into this reboot and i'm going to do everything I possibly can to make sure another stupid relapse doesn't happen. Going to the lake tomorrow for fathers day so not a bad way to start off a new reboot.
     
  8. Youngfella

    Youngfella Active Member

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Great opening post dude, enjoyed reading it. You´re definitely on the right track now! I´ll be following you.

    Don´t know why but this part really hit me. We actually never see these people in real life and still fantasize about them. Really stupid if you think about it. Real girls are the real deal. ;)
     
  9. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Glad it helps you too bro :)
     
  10. tenpagocha

    tenpagocha Destroy comfort zone, your not your fucking khakis

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    You are really blessed to discover this so early. I know you cant beat this :)
     
  11. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Guessing thats a misspell? Haha good luck to you too if it is ;)
     
  12. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Day 1:
    Ok so this was simply a great fucken day. I love hanging out with friends! Went to the lake for fathers day with my family and my friends family who are practically family to us and some other people and we all just had a good ass time. We made some bbq had drinks swam, it was all good.We all went back to my house after the lake and just had a chill ass night drinking and stuff. Also, i finally got to meet my fine ass neighbor! Finally. She's got big ass tits and is just so cute man. Alright so I gotta get ready now for school stay strong bro's and love life!
     
  13. KayTown

    KayTown New Member

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Good luck with your reboot man, I will be following your journal! Being 15, you are so lucky! I know everyone says that but only because it is sooo true. Keep that in mind!
     
  14. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    I know i'm lucky for finding this out I just gotta capitalize on it now haha and good luck with your reboot also!
     
  15. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Also, I just finished summer school 8 days early with a B grade! Enjoying life right now guys.
     
  16. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Day 2:
    Alright so the only major thing that happened today was finishing my summer school which feels good because I don't gotta worry about sleeping early which wasn't really early I was sleeping at 2 am anyways haha. Other than that just chilled at home once again. Did the dishes which kills some time. Will start to hit the gym up again tomorrow after lagging for 3 weeks.
     
  17. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Feels good sleeping in on weekdays. My summer is starting now pretty much. Also, i'm lagging once again and will start the gym again with my buddy tomorrow.
     
  18. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Day 3:
    Saw Man of Steel today. Wow. It was such a great movie. And also at the movies right when I got there I swear to you all the ladies looked at me at least once. And when the movie ended and I was waiting for my dad to get out of the bathroom a group of girls were checking me and my buddy out! My sister even told us that they were and she said they were mugging her too lmao. I made eye contact with a couple of them but it was weird they looked old but were so small it was pretty funny haha. Feels great though. I like the attention I just cant wait to see what happens when I walk into a club when i'm 21 or whatever with a couple years of no PMO power. Anyways, great day. Days are zooming by, already about to be on day 4. 30 days should be a breeze. Stay strong guys.
     
  19. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    Day 4:
    So I finally hit the gym up again after not going for about a month and damn did I get weaker. I can still do the same weights but I just don't have the stamina and endurance for it. I was toasted after only an hour and I usually am done at 2 hours. Hoping to get back to where I was in at least 2 weeks. Wasn't too far so it's possible. Other than that I just watched some tv. No urges as i'm going into this with a lot of motivation now.
     
  20. Califree209

    Califree209 Reaching for my goal.

    Re: 15 - My Journal - The journey to a better/great life.

    I have a lot of emotion also. I love life man I can't wait till i'm in this for a couple months/years. Stay strong brathaaaas.
     

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