17 year old needing help

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by Scott Morrison, Oct 15, 2017.

  1. Scott Morrison

    Scott Morrison New Member

    This is my first post on here so please forgive me if I make mistakes. I am 17 and I have a very unique porn addiction. If you're willing to read all I have to say I would absolutely love your input on what I should do.

    When I began watching porn I was about 11 or 12. I don't remember exactly. Ever since then it has been a part of my daily life. Everyday I masturbated to it at least once. Now, it has gotten out of control. When I started realizing i had a problem I was about 15 when my family and I moved to a place with no internet for 9 months. I constantly fed off my neighbors wifi to watch porn. Then when we finally got it, I got deeper into the addiction. Now I haven't exactly had a normal teenage life. Sadly i missed out on most if not everything that normal teens experience in their life. When I was 13 my family took me out of school because my grandmother was sick from throat cancer. Their plan was to homeschool me and put me back in public school a couple of months or a year after she healed. She died, and I guess the loss of her rocked my entire family because I haven't had an education since then except from what I learn online. I'm a shutin. I have been since she passed. I play my games, go in the kitchen when I need food. Watch and talk to my mother and father, even go outside occasionally, but mostly only when I HAVE to. I'm obese and short and feel completely useless to myself and those around me. I'm antisocial and I really really do not like interacting with people unless I have to. When I do it's nice because i think I'm very good with conversation. I just don't want to approach people, and I assume because of all these problems is why I've gone deeper into porn for the past 2 years. 2 years ago literally right after my 16th birthday normal porn got less and less interesting, and I know when that starts to happen you search for harder things to quench that lust but at the time I didn't know that. For some reason I wasn't drawn to harder things, I was drawn to things I simply was not attracted to. Things that I seriously didn't enjoy at all. It's like how people say “I'll never end up doing this or that" and then turn out years later doing those things they hated. The kind of porn I began watching was hypnosis type porn. Humiliation things. Stuff that made you get off on the shame you felt for doing them. Specifically Sissy hypnosis.

    For those who don't know what that is, it is hypnosis porn that is intended to effeminate your subconscious mind. Flashing images, subliminal messages, whispering you cannot hear but your subconscious can. It is meant to turn a “Normal" male porn watcher (if there is such a thing) into a mindset of a transexual. Its intentions are some of the darkest and most perverted things I've seen. I began watching it out of curiosity and it escalated into not just making me question my sexuality but into changing my mind on a subconscious level. I can no longer enjoy normal porn or porn with girls even though I am not attracted to males in any way. At this point idk if rebooting will be enough to fix the damage ive done to my mind. I cant stand to look in the mirror anymore and i simply have no idea what I can do to reverse the effects porn has had on me.
     
    rami likes this.
  2. Okc221

    Okc221 New Member

    I am in a similar boat as you. I am also 17 and am watching porn that does not match the sexuality I started out with. Rebooting is the only way you can beat this. Google yourbrainonporn and it will explain everything that has happened with you and if you search success stories of PIED you can see firsthand accounts that it does work. I am just starting my reboot and I suggest you do the same. It's time to get porn out of your life and start living it top the fullest
     
  3. Squire

    Squire Member

    Hi Scott, thank you for sharing your story. The first thing I want to say to you is congratulations for surviving in difficult circumstances and congratulations for being self-aware enough to see that your coping mechanisms are unhealthy and taking you in directions you don't want to go. It is like you're swimming and you get caught in a rip current. It can be pleasant just to ride along with that current and a lot easier than trying to get out of it. But if you don't get out if it it's going to take you far away from where you want to be.

    So my suggestion to you is first to think about where you want to be, who you want to be. What is your goal? What would your life look like if you were a better version of yourself? Then start thinking about how to build that person. Getting rid of porn and other negative coping mechanisms is just one part of that. You also need to think about the good new habits and skills you want to develop to move you along to the new person you want to be. So for example, getting out of the house and taking a walk every day could help you with your fitness issues, and if on your walk you push yourself to talk to people every day you can start to develop social skills. Getting a part-time job might help with this, and raise your self-esteem. Hanging out with other guys can enhance your sense of masculinity. You are interested in hypnosis. So find some hypnosis audios to listen to that build your sense of masculinity, self-esteem, confidence. There's plenty of that online. Whenever you feel interested in listening to the other stuff, substitute this healthier stuff instead.

    I hope these suggestions help. You are among friends and welcome in this community.
     
    rami likes this.
  4. rami

    rami New Member

    try to make new habits and a way of life
    how about reading? I strongly recommend "the 7 habits of highly effective teens" by shen covey
    install a porn filter on your devices
    find something interesting and useful to do
     
    Squire likes this.
  5. Squire

    Squire Member

    ooh, yes, I read the 7 Habits of Highly Effective People (probably by that guy's dad) years ago. It was really helpful.
     

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