17. Porn or Progress

Discussion in 'Ages -19' started by picats3141, Dec 15, 2012.

  1. I can relate to your experience pi. The frequency of pmo has decreased for me as well and it benefits greatly. I feel so much more in control when I am not pmoing. Everything feels exciting. It might have to do with hormones or brain (I am not sure) but anyway it's a very good reason to keep on working towards being pmo free.
     
  2. picats3141

    picats3141 Active Member

    Yeah. Having abstained since last Friday, I've felt a lot of energy lately. It's nice to be sensitized. Feeling in control, feeling animated, that's something I'd missed for awhile. It's been good to see that I still have it in me.

    I can appreciate many different types of women when sensitized, and rather than lowering the bar for attractiveness, it feels more like I'm gaining a nuanced pallet. I feel like attractiveness isn't linear, but rather there's different flavors, sweet, spicy, umami....

    ...but the energy is also frustrating in a way, especially if I don't have an outlet for all the sexual energy. Mostly, the frustration hits at night, alone in my bedroom, when I have no one to talk to, nothing to expend my energy on.

    Maybe I have to play the long con. Getting the batting average up is a matter of confidence, especially when you've only ever struck out, and you've only ever played in the little leagues. College is nine months too far away. I want to get on the bases now.

    But I could have something other than women to expend my energy on, too. Because, girlfriend chances are realistically low, even though I'm diversifying my options. I need to start a project that envelops and motivates me, to harness this loose-cannon energy into a concentrated stream. Something ambitious.
     
  3. picats3141

    picats3141 Active Member

    Somehow, even with volatile emotions, I still manage to feel more optimistic than when I'm watching P for several hours a day. Thinking of that numbness, that terrible lethargy that overtakes me when I PMO...that's what keeps me going. Two more days until a week.
     
  4. picats3141

    picats3141 Active Member

    It's been a good weekend. PMO on Friday once I made it a week, but it's gone better since then. I think I'm taking a crash course in coming into my own socially this semester. I'm unearthing wit, friendliness, cleverness, affection.

    So far, it's making some progress. I tend to get a bit overexcited in social situations, but it's a developing area of mine. It's been great to hang out with friends for a long time every day this weekend. An event I organized ran well, and I had fun too.

    I don't wanna mess that good feeling up with PMO binges. Half telling myself this because I feel urges right now.
     
    Last edited: Jan 16, 2017

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