16 month success! Fucking awesome

Discussion in 'Success Stories' started by episodeIV, Jul 20, 2014.

  1. episodeIV

    episodeIV New Member

    So some of you may know me as EpisodeIV (A new hope) but now my reboot/rewire is complete, I am now EpisodeVI (Return of the Jedi). So last night after not being able to have sex for 2+ years, I had sex 3 times with a beautiful girl with absolutely no signs of PIED. I lasted a few minutes each time, I wore a condom and everything went swimmingly. I have been at this for 16 months now after learning at 23 what PIED was and that porn abstinence was the cure. I started with a 90 day reboot which was followed by a long time of relapses that lasted about 9 months. I would abstain for 2 weeks, then fall off, similar to what my journal was like the first few months (I haven't updated recently). Anyway, this spring I really found my peace of mind and was able to abstain for 60 days without any hardly any trouble and in this time I believe I truly cured myself. Now I watched HSIP for 8 years, multiple times every day and only slept with with a handful of women in that time and most of the time I suffered from some form of PIED. Then 2 years ago I straight up failed with a beautiful girl 2 nights in a row and truly realized the extent of my problem. About 8 months later I found YBOP and began this journey.

    Now I know a lot of people on here think relapses are horrible and while I agree they certainly slow the process down, they do not cancel your progress out. I think most of us can gauge where we are at in the reboot based on our morning wood and overall response down there. I knew the progress I was making and I know that while relapsing set it back, it did not reset to zero. MY sensitivity was way better throughout the entire process and I was way more attracted to real women. So do your best to not relapse but don't get upset if you do, just focus on getting back on a no pmo streak.

    As a note, my escalation got to about 2-3 times a day (max of 5), watching mainly anal sex, and humiliation fetish which is about as far as I got. I was never into Tranny/Gay/Rape/Child or any other illegal porn type. I will say that my fantasies about sex were extremely unrealistic though and I think we can de-escalate our fetishes. When I jerked off I had to see a butt to cum, it was the only part of the female body that truly turned me on. Last night, I only caught glimpses of her butt and it didn't matter. I could close my eyes and my erection wasn't going away.

    A lot of pepole on here make way too big a deal about the rewiring process and I am now a firm believer that we are naturally wired to girls. There has never been a period in my life where I have been more wired to real girls than to porn. During my entire 16 months I masturbated to porn and nude images over a 100 times and came twice from a real girl (one from a 100% unerect blowjob and one gave me a handjob). I spent less than 24 hours in a 16 month time compared to 100's of hours of chat roullete, sexting, youtube porn, and hardcore porn. While I have hooked up with (without sex) dozens of women, the time I have spent with real girls was nothing compared to what I've spent with porn. This tells me not to worry as much about rewiring and to focus more on abstaining.

    I have been at this 16 months after I watched a video that told me to expect 90-150 days. We are the longbooters, who have been raised on porn and are going to have a really hard time abstaining for months at a time. My mentality was to never give up, even if I had relapsed 10 days straight, I wouldn't give up. Sex is something I had never enjoyed when I was watching porn but last night was truly the best night of my life. I felt like I was losing my virginity all over again and I couldn't be more thrilled. I have suffered with long time strugglers on this forum and have been given unbelievable encouragement by Gary, Gabe and many of the members of this forums community. I cannot be more thankful to everyone who has taken the time to promote this problem and help us recover. It is fucked that I lost about a decade of what should have been the beginning of my sexual prime but I am still young (25) and I know that I will have countless opportunities ahead of me. I feel like a new man and this is likely my last post on this site, being as though I don't want to dwell on this. Good luck to all of you and remember that every day you are on this journey you are that much closer to your goal. Everything you think is wrong will be cured through porn abstinence and that will be just the beginning of the life change that is ahead. Everyone on here can be cured.
     
  2. gameover

    gameover Age: 26

    Yea man nice work. I too have relapsed a hundred of times after a great initial run 18 months ago and feel like just a few weeks would be all i need rewiring.

    Happy for you man.
     
  3. Whatu

    Whatu New Member

    You're doing awesome man, Listen to this and have a boogie where ever you are! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kS-zK1S5Dws
     
  4. episodeIV

    episodeIV New Member

    gameover i cannot tell you how much i worried about rewiring during the process and how in hindsight i believe rewiring is not necessary. i estimate i spent less than 24 hours during the 16 month process (compared to 100+ hours of porn) rewiring to real women. i had hooked up with a girl i didn't end up sleeping with in June, a full 9 months after the last time I had properly hooked up with a girl, and I was hard when I kissed her, and I know I could have had sex with her if I tried at the time. This to me shows that we are fully wired to women starting out and that porn lays newer stronger paths (do to the amount of dopamine we get edging and watching escelated scenarios) but does not destroy the old ones. I believe once the porn pathways become weak (to the point where you don't even get fully hard to porn anymore, which happened to me), then you are good to go because the real pathways have been enforced do to the fact that we are the direct descendants of millions of sexually successful organisms who have hardwired it into our genes. Think about that, because I believe we are hardwired to real sex and have only softwired ourselves temporarily to porn. Please do not stress about rewiring, if you are truly over pornography, you will be good.

    PA is another thing that I believe is bullshit (unless you are an extremely anxious person, which i'm not). I wen't into the night having relapsed the night before and relapsed a few times in the previous week (though I did not binge). I was so worried about not being able to perform that I considered taking an ED pill to help. My boner was in and out as we were kissing and I was worried that even if I could get hard, there was no way i'd keep it up in her long enough to put on a condom and stay hard in her. To my delight, my boner was hard enough to put the condom on and penetrate for several minutes and by the 3rd time, it was rock hard. PA isn't something I would worry about, chances are if you still can't have succesful sex it's because you haven't rebooted properly yet.

    The last note will be on relapses. If you know yourself well enough you should be able to recognize the improvement you've made. When I was in full porn mode (around 2 hours a day, 2-3 times masturbating with a lot of edging), my dick was the opposite of sensitive. It would take unrealistic hardcore porn and 30+ minutes to cum. After my initial reboot, if I masturbated, it would usually take around 1 minute. Even after I relapsed countless times, my sensitivity was still there. If I edged, I would get blisters and red marks on my head, things that never happened when i was bingeing. I was more turned on by woman and honestly never found myself looking at porn anymore and being attracted to certain types of porn, actresses and specific shots. Know yourself, and know your progress, as long as the general trend is improvement, you will eventually be good.
     
  5. AddictedAgain

    AddictedAgain Pain = Growth

    Thanks bro, needed to read this. I have been seriously trying to break free from the hold porn has on me for about 2 months (that's when I found this site), with some success. Its not enough tho. I want to be 100% porn free, and it's good to read a success story. Thanks buddy.
     
  6. episodeIV

    episodeIV New Member

    looking at your counters you are making progress, 100% porn free is gonna be difficult if you are not having sex, our bodies need orgasm. It took me about 13 months to really get to the point where i no longer had hardly an interest in porn unless i was drunk and really horny. 2 months isn't enough time to break the cravings but if you keep at it the way you are going you will be good at some point in the not too distant future. be prepared for a year+ though if you are gonna relapse.
     
  7. nomorefapalexander

    nomorefapalexander New Member

    So did you not masturbate at all during these 16 months, even without porn? I am improving very slowly in my reboot, but I am getting there soon.
     
  8. episodeIV

    episodeIV New Member

    if you read either of my posts i say multiple times in each that yes, i did relapse countless times, plenty to porn.
     
  9. Wmhatcher21

    Wmhatcher21 New Member

    Wow, hugely encouraging, congratulations! That is a massive achievement and I wish you every success with continued rebooting and a life free of HSIP.

    Was refreshing to hear you discussing your main fetish focusses too, alleviates the shame factor for others reading the post because I am a purely anal fetish HSIP seeker as well.

    Thanks also for reminding readers that a relapse is ok, I have just relapsed after 6 weeks, my 3rd 6 week streak in row! So I'm still hugely proud of how far I've come.

    The longbooting is quite a daunting prospect. The last three streaks have seen big progress but I was toppled by the 'emptiness' that often gets discussed on here.

    May I ask if you have any good tips for filling the void?

    Many thanks,
     
  10. JohnDoe6

    JohnDoe6 http://www.yourbrainrebalanced.com/index.php?topic

    Your recovery story is thoroughly interesting as it is something I have pondered on for a long time. I wonder whether because you abstained for so long (albeit some relapses) that you didn't need to rewire. I think it is a possibility that rewiring helps speed up the process but isn't the be all and end all. I could have sex 5 months after rebooting due to PIED. However, sometimes i needed a bit more stimulation than just kissing or sometimes i just didn't get an instant erection but got hard after a few minutes. I bet that if this same situation had come about after 10 months I would have been hard from kissing.

    Sometimes I think too much fuss is made about rewiring although this area needs research.
     
  11. NewNotComer

    NewNotComer Never Stray From The Way

    Hello episodeVI, and congratulations! Thank you for sharing your story.

    I have a couple of questions:
    When you first realized you had PIED, were you able to masturbate to sensation/thought alone?
    When did your morning wood start returning?
    How long did it take you to be able to get lasting, full erections with sensation alone?

    Thanks in advance!
     
  12. elway1978

    elway1978 elway1978

    Excellent story - keep it up! From Nov 2001 to Aug 2003, I went that length of time without MO. However, I relapsed bad in Aug 2003 and after that, never went more than 5 or 6 weeks at most and usually only about 2 or 3 days at most without MO. I also have RS in between but I'm trying to get MO and M of any kind out because it just hasn't been healthy in my personal life. I have a wife and kids and all that. In the last 10 years, I've done hundreds of divorce matters as a legal professional and a lot of them have serious amounts of M involved by the husband usually but also the wife in some instances. It is a mad epidemic. Best wishes! I'm starting a new journey to live free of MO and hopefully M.
     
  13. Robane

    Robane Member

    Great job Episode!
     

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